The Life of a Broken Mirror

2011-02-08T01:51:00.002+08:00

"Why treasure someone who is already gone?" This CNY taught me this lesson. How many "See you soon".. "Let's meet up soon". Mere greetings than heartfelt intentions. As much as I would like to take the splinters off others.. personal ones remain. It is a pleasant reminder of how short life really is.

2010-05-17T02:46:00.003+08:00

Well, it has been quite a while. reducing my blog entries after I bought my own journal. One thing I learn is to look towards the future. As i watched the news about this singapore titian Dr.Goh. I was like "Wow!" one man can change the lives of generations with his vision and ideas. From National service(which is kinda ZzZz for many)transportation,bird park,education..etc) That transformed Singapore structure and policy. It just makes me wonder what kind of life will we be remembered for? I guess.. only during ur funeral will ur affirmation be displayed haha. But hey, so long as you are breathing, we can still make a difference! Slowly but surely

2010-03-30T02:40:00.002+08:00

I was bitten by a mosquitoes after the feet-washers training last sun. It makes me wonder.. Do you procrastinate when a bloodsucking bug lights on your skin? Well in most cases, you would give the critter the slap it deserves. It taught me one thing, to be equally decisive with anxiety. The moment a concern surfaces, deal with it. Don't dwell on it. I've been busy with 'To-do' and work. I feel like I've lost my touch with being pastoral. Time to act on it. "If my heart has gone cold, there your mercy unfold. As you open my eyes to the things yet unseen as You open my eyes. Compassion than just mere works. As schedules get pack with inks and meet ups. My heart let it be for your glory. For my guys.Yu han,Wilfred,Nelson,Chen yee&dominic that gave me a chance to learn. "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you will shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life-in order that I may boast on the day Christ that I did not run or labour for nothing. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me" -phil 2:14 Time for me to slap that laidback attitude and kill some critters in my life before it sucks the life out of me.

2010-01-18T18:48:00.002+08:00

Went for a run around Sengkang and found a newly open park :D Loads of kites flying up in the sky.

2009-12-31T15:19:00.002+08:00

The loss of mystery has led to the loss of majesty. The more we know, the less we believe. No wonder there is no wonder. We think we've figured it all out. Strange, don't you think? Knowledge of the workings shouldn't negate wonder. Knowledge should stir wonder. Who has more reason to worship than the astronomer who has seen the stars? Than the surgeon who has held a heart? Than the oceanographer who has pondered the depths?

2009-11-08T01:18:00.002+08:00

Have been working too hard lately haha. Push my physical body too much at times like last sunday. When I ran half a marathon from East Coast to the Tanah merah and back to East coast. I stopped buying a cup of tea and siting at some quiet corner to chill. While looking at the waves "His glory appears" played in my itune. Tears followed. Looking back, it reminds me of a story of Elijah. A man filled with faith and challenged hundreds of Baal worshippers single-handedly yet feared a Queen. Ran for miles(or days) God reminded Elijah about the stillness rather than quakes and waves in life. I enjoy running bec it force me to stop as I catch my breath and think. Than to live my life like a hamster in a wheel. Christmas is comin, what caught my attention wasn't the lights and big christmas tree rather, "I Am the Light of the World"-John9. This billboard was at Tangs Orchard. gimme oil in my lamp Lord, keep it burning. "Jia you!"

2009-10-19T00:19:00.002+08:00

Cg last thurs. Used up some of my friends army credit to purchase powder for games. And last week, our combined Cg we played it. Basically I aged instantly as my hair was covered with white powder.

2009-10-11T00:29:00.002+08:00

Before I left the hse, ate a piece of mooncake. That may well cost me my health. On my way to nexus, my head was spinning. I thought it will soon past never did i expected my fever to be 38.2 c. During praise, I tried to jump however my head would give me a headache and during altarcall, I couldn't stand it and when to the counter to rest.(with donavan hoodie, I looked like a hunter). After svc, I had to rest at home, when my ipod played the song "Fire fall down" by hillsong. haha I thought that was funny.

2009-10-05T00:33:00.002+08:00

Total redraw service today for hopekids. Though I was late for both music prac and drama rehearsal. I was supposed to be there by 750am.(I reached at 845). I was grateful that despite my shortcomings, He pulled me thru. After hopekids, met up with donavan to chill out with Sunny and marcus. We played LAN, battlefield 2(wah killed waves after waves of bots) these bots will knife u lol. As I took a stop to reflect at SMU "Lord, I'm amazed by you and how u love me. Your works are everywhere but I seldom took notice of your wonders and grace." This week was a grace week as I count my blessings and learning points. Well, as much as finishing army is a joy. A pain would be the paycheck haha. Nevertheless, I received help from friends that offers me jobs and whatever I may lack in. Could be a small sms by mervin, my sheeps backache remover,a shoe from my pri classmate,Gideon. And so many others. i'm jus thanksful beyond words.

2009-09-18T01:16:00.002+08:00

Life as a civilian. Less than a day after I received my pink I.C received a call from my former boss asking me to work today. 11am to 330pm.(I rejected the full time) Being a waiter isn't my life-long dream. Anw I went, better than jobless haha. I can't help but feel that I'm really bless by God in how He provide and protected me. Well on my last day at the air base met Dennis low(he was doin his In-Camp-Training(ICT) he asked me. Will I still be serving in the Youth? "I have no idea" was my reply. That is a concern that I have to settle. I shall apply what Nehemiah did. step1: Fast. 2. Pray and plan. God placed certain burden in my heart and I need to examine my wall and cracks

2009-09-15T01:32:00.002+08:00

notice a signboard sayin "It doesn't matter how slow you go. So long as you reach" That caught my attention after I failed my final theory. LOL it is like the 3rd time(well i'm slow but I will finish what I've started) rahh. You know since sunday, I've been reflecting on Sat teaching on the Book of Nehemiah on examining the cracks in the wall. I was lookin into cracks in my life and restoration that need to follow suit. I went to Harbourfront jus to ponder even more

2009-09-06T22:20:00.002+08:00

busy with planning for shepherd's retreat. Mum went overseas again. Bank account negetive. Army pay gone soon as I'm goin to finish my NS. 090909 will be packed with loads of event.Metamorph/ORD party/Hopekids outing. "Don't let events and remarks swift u from ur true position as Christ's beloved and your true purpose serving out most high God! -hong teck. Today as I went Hopekids in the morning, I felt a sense of refreshment despite the fact that I had only 3hrs of sleep(as I was thinkin about the games) for shepherd retreat. Well as the song goes "Here in my life" where would I be. I'm reminded of how many countless times He came to my rescue and taken me from mess and gave me freedom. :D

2009-08-30T02:26:00.003+08:00

hmm. Today was a simple day. After svc/meeting, met nic and went to explore ION at orchard. The design was unique, basement are the stores and carpark the higher levels. The day before went there for a treat by Hong Teck(still not used to callin him pastor) we had jap instead of swensen ice-cream. Anw during the discussion, I updated HT about the games that I would be leading(I knew that I would be volunteering for more roles liao) And sure enough. I was asked to lead. I knew instinctively that I want to rest more and let others do rather than me. But well, I want to be unique and contribute than wait for things to happen. Recently I'm beginning to discover myself. Anw back today, went out with nic. I enjoyed the time spend jus walking ard. Nic had to go back early so I decided to head down to cyberdome to find some hope pp and Joseph tan was there. Jus spend a few hours listening and catching up. think think think about what do I wanna be for God? Unique! (in method but Godly principle govern)

2009-08-27T02:02:00.003+08:00

NDC(National Dental centre) went there and took time off for appointment. My left tooth was giving me slight pain when I crew. So as the dentist check it out and drilled deeper she discovered that the small hole that is affected has spread. Which at the end of all the drilling caused three big holes. I had to undergo anaesthesia that numb my left side including my tongue. Well the dentist covered the hole and told me to monitor the situation if future problems occur. rahh. Not only did my tooth hurt, my wallet as well. Hmm. After dental walked around chinatown, explored the food court when 2bucks duck rice caught my attention.(it was worth it) Then headed off the serangoon for shepherd's retreat comm(stressed by the night games!)

2009-08-26T01:19:00.000+08:00

2009-08-25T23:55:00.002+08:00

Hmm one paper that limits my life career. (Anguish) Taste the bitter pill later on in my life.

2009-08-22T02:21:00.002+08:00

After several days of waking up early in the morning for GC. The conference is over, learned quite a great deal but need time to sink in those information and apply into my life. rahh got to go back camp on a sat haha, there goes my combined service.

2009-08-22T02:20:00.000+08:00

2009-08-14T02:48:00.002+08:00

2009-08-14T01:40:00.002+08:00

Went back to camp despite my off day. rahh to attend some talks, one of which invited a motivation speaker(hmm air force rich ah) the speaker's theme was Excellence. he gave quite a few good pointer which are mainly self-improvement then came a assignment. The task was each team-member is to write a word from a list of sentences. Then he asked us, whether are we proud of our work?(it was mainly to-get it done asap mentality) Then he told us to re-do the assignment this time with a new sheet of paper. So before me and my team start to write.. I told them, to look around and first. We sat Caregroup style and I told them "Let's be unique from the rest!" Instead of use writing the neatest we do a mind map from the sentence given, I will start first.."Excellence" wrote on the centre of the big paper given(arrow) is never an accident(draw out car banging on someone). It turns out that our piece of paper came out tops among the rest. yeah! At the end of his speech, while I and my friends were packing up, he walked from the front to where I was and tore a piece of his note and handed to me. I was stunned*Huh*(not to boast) "study it well, you have a bright future." One of the two big pointers was as a leader(which he circled) 1.commitment 2.self discovery 3.discipline Hmm..Spirit of excellence reminds me of what Matt25:14 The parable of the talents. Am I serving God and the church like a few of those army NSF who can't be bothered or jus get the job done mentality? Thinking. we are serving a God that sees the unseen and nothing is hidden from His sight. So "We are the change!" and salt in this world.

2009-08-09T01:30:00.003+08:00

Just book out today, tired man. Today watched the movie 'UP' to me, that movie was great. As my army days are nearing to an end, this movie jus lets me think.. "Everything goes back into the box". What achievement am I aiming for? Gosh! was I rude toward people, was thinking and my past deeds reflected. Times that I'm irriated by those mrt commuters who jus rush straight in before u can step out. That jus ticks me off that I would rub or bang shoulders with them. hmm.. beyond evil intentions hahaha oh well. stop,turn,walk away and cool my hot-headed temper with God's peace and love.

2009-08-05T01:18:00.002+08:00

Anw NEA1B broke our cg goal of 10. Celebrated today at Amk pizzahut, Hawaiian supreme was good man! I gotta thank don and shi peng for paying for me first(cos I promise to treat them but due to my driving debt)hmm. Anw played number game later where I kana the correct number and have to eat a spoon full of dried chilli with cheese and spicy sauce. rahh. Anw this month I must say that I survived on $130 for 21days woohoo(however I will be still need to pay off some debt haha) Anw my mum is goin to HK on national day(envy her)

2009-08-01T01:33:00.002+08:00

Just came back from my 5km night run. It was refreshing(my left knee however is still giving me problems). Earlier went to serangoon to play soccer with the NEB guys when my left toe kana kick(still feeling the effects) Well, today we(nea1B) also celebrated Brandon belated birthday. Though confirmation from the Anderson side isn't what I expected but I'm still proud of the Anderson team that consist of Nic,mw and murphy. "The best is yet to come!!" So I won't give up. Anw this month, my spendings decrease greatly thanks to bread and no delivery supper in camp.

2009-07-28T02:10:00.002+08:00

Do Watch to the video!! http://christopheryuanvideo.blogspot.com

2009-07-26T19:05:00.002+08:00

Jus ended the basketball match with Ryan, my contact from PHS. Well his friend is his dad haha whose name was elvin haha. Elvin(his dad) was a real nice guy to be with, we played basketball and afterwards he treated me and xiang hui and my pri-sch friend drinks. His father is some high-ranking officer in the navy. lol. There were quite into today's soccer match between Liverpool vs Singapore. Anw at Bishan library where I found this biblical comic about King Josiah. King Josiah did what was right and just. He defended the cause of the poor and needy. "Is that not what it means to know me? declares the Lord." hmm.

2009-07-26T14:34:00.003+08:00

Went to hopekids late haha sian la. Anw hopekids cg was fun when kat tried to holy spirit baptise them. So far I know Yu han(jon tay little brother) receive the gift to speak in tongues. Hmm at bishan now, later meeting Ryan(a contact in PHS) for a basketball match rahh

2009-07-26T02:40:00.002+08:00

wanted to update my blog for quite a while but by the time I reach home, my mind only thinks about sleeping. Anw this sat Ess the performance was great! I'm glad I took leave from my army camp to attend svc. Though it was quite disapointing that my visitors couldn't come. Nevertheless I felt blessed already, that my grp have a convert. After svc we spend quite a great deal of time playin board games and monopoly deal. NEA shall be known for our wide variation of games(how cool is that). Then watched movie with Marcus,gid,chantel and the rest of NEUL. Public Enemies. Apart from the action which I think was nice was the value of friendship and loyalty between the bank robbers. Johnny depp acting was really great. Anw it sets me thinking about being who I am. Like what was taught earlier during service about how God accepts us for who we are. Well. learning to open my life up more :D oh well later there is hopekids

2009-07-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

1 Kings 19:11 "The Lord said, 'Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about the pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart an shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake ame a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. Many a times we expect God to turn up in special events and careless about the whispers in life. I am one of them who look forward to special events. Not that it isn't great but today as I failed my final theory. I felt terrible so I was determined to sign up for school lessons which requires me to pay more. I didn't know what I was signing for.. I paid over 250. Moments later.. "Wait.. I only have less than a hundred to last me for my next payday." I felt so stupid. Negetive thoughts rushed in. What made matters worse was tat I was celebrating my mum's birthday later and promise to treat her to a good meal. There was a mix of feelings then. I jus stone haha and was thinking of my banana + walnut which i enjoy when tough times hits my wallet. I needed to cool down and set my emotions right. That was when I was reminded of Elijah. "He is faithful. and all I have to do is trust and obey" I decided to tune my emotions and spirit back. As I set my eyes not on Yusof bin Ishak but on the simple things that money can't buy. Anw I kept my word and treated my mum. I owe alot to her! :)

2009-07-12T18:47:00.002+08:00

Was late for Hopekids today. Was supposed to lead praise. Woke up at 8am cos last night I slept at 4am+(busy buying friends in facebook as pets) haha. Gosh! Anw I finally found my way to Trader's hotel at Tanglin Rd to celebrate my grandma birthday. I'm waiting for my dad to come, the place has a outdoor corner overlooking the swimming pool. I can't help but take this time to reflect. "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine

2009-07-04T23:23:00.002+08:00

1st july received my OSY. Then on fri had combined prayer meet, "Give thanks with a grateful heart" Once again blessed by God. Didn't have the chance to meet freedy that day. Today after svc played monopoly deal then met my dad at toa payoh crystal jade for dinner. Felt closer to him bit by bit. Other than certain viewpoints. After meeting my dad, met lie hao, hui and xiong. It was another round of monopoly. Tmr gonna wake up early for hopekids(took time off from army) Well.. need to spend more time with my mummy :P

2009-06-30T14:06:00.002+08:00

1 sam 13:23/14. It was about Jonathan and his young armor-bearer attacking the Philitines outpost. Two against twenty men and only Jonathan has a sword. What are the odds. "It jus takes a spark to get the fire burning". This verse keeps ringing "The battle is not ours but of the Lord!" Victory is already ours. We have to claim our reward. I learned alot last night when Hong Teck shared and taught regards to Hopekids. One of the points is : patterns that lead to perfection. Instead of aiming for perfection as a once off thing like focusing on the mountain top. It is the valleys that we climb that has fruits and moulds our character. Oddly after I responsed Eilton sms me and informed me that I would be leading praise.(not my comfort zone)haha. Anw had a nice time today morning when big shaun drove me ard for supper(we met at midnight. inspired by his sharing of the uni matchstick encouragement.

2009-06-27T00:48:00.002+08:00

Info counter retreat today at SMU settler's cafe. Jus a simple meet up(most of the NE pp left before this grp photo was taken due to NE pm) I pon haha. Personally I felt I can do so much more for this ministry as I felt that I'm tied down by army that restricts me to serve on sat. It's about the spirit of excellence. Well, the least I can do is to get the info tee done asap. Met up with Gideon in the afternoon at sengkang. Realise improvement areas in my shepherding. Anw gonna be broke soon with my best friend birthday comin up -__-

2009-06-22T02:15:00.002+08:00

(continue) Met my sheep, Meng wee at Yishun safra. Since Nic stays near there, decided to give him a call..and he jus so happens to be at northpoint(yishun). So I met him and poke him haha. Anw came back after meeting Stephen,gary,joseph Tan and Lin.(my former grads guys). As today was stephen birthday. It has been such a long time since we last met, many of them already in their final year in poly and the next phase is NS. Hmm. jus thinking about the ripple effect, a drop of sweat in what we do now for the youth, goes beyond what we can imagine in the future. Well tmr is my advance test for driving rahh

2009-06-21T20:20:00.002+08:00

Had a busy day of ministry, requested to leave early to attend hopekids after my duty at 2am. Slept for a while before the food van called SFI came.(that was my transport home) it was 5am then. ZzzZz rushed home to change and drop the load of smelly uniform and boots. And Tap my way to the mrt to town. Enjoy myself seeing the joy among the children during service however with teacher Hong Teck, law and order wasn't strongly enforced(hmm) I felt the need for the children ministry to be under one leader for both teams(jus some of my thoughts) Afterward had a info retreat planning team.(simple jus got settler's cafe at smu) haha learned a new game from sandy. monopoly card

2009-06-18T22:18:00.003+08:00

Hmm. June camp ended. This month has been a month of refreshment with LC at kuching that kick started the momentum. This camp I'm grateful and proud with NEA core-t and my leader donavan and sunny. I was reminded of the video during Hero's camp. In which it was about March of the imperfects tat God uses. The fact that unconnected believers came was really how God soften their hearts and later impacted it. Though I must say that this camp has been even more tiring for me than before(older liao) Nevertheless my camp objective was answered. God added a bonus lesson too. He taught me to tear down my pride and prejudice. As after camp the following day, I was to report back to my base(sian) Later did I found out management issues and how incompetent the management is. I try to speak up and suggest changes in the most reasonable way as possible, only to be turned down by lame answer(not ready yet). Wah..I was pissed, I felt such injustice. And as I was trying to pray for God to strike them with whatever.. I jus felt the spirit telling me "Be still, justice is mine to give." It took me a while to realise my impulsiveness. Anw ate at Brasserie Wolf at MD sultan road to celebrate my army friend birthday. The Rib eye that I ordered cost me a wooping $40 >_< rahh

2009-06-10T00:50:00.003+08:00

If my heart has grown cold There Your love will unfold As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand When I was blind to my ways There Your Spirit will pray As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand Oceans will part nations come At the whisper of Your call Hope will rise glory shown In my life Your will be done Present suffering may pass Lord Your mercy will last As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand And my heart will find praise//// Oceans will part, I ponder on those words.. when I was blind to my way there your spirit will I pray as You open my eyes. I jus want to be grateful for the God's grace and protection. Recently took interest in reading the book of Ezekiel after listening to Ravi Zacharias sermon on worship. I realised how harden I'm. Today after army went for prayermeet at Donavan hse at moonstone lane(thinkin of pokemon). Anw, last sat preaching on repentance still lingers in my mind. [STOP. TURN. WALK]

2009-06-09T11:48:00.001+08:00

Hmm. How true and stupid it is that we have to be taught Basic courtesy

2009-06-02T23:54:00.002+08:00

Went out for dinner with my mum. It was at some fancy restaurant at Clarke quay, the bill was ex! but once in a while enjoy la

2009-05-31T06:31:00.003+08:00

I was so tired that I went to sleep the moment I rested in bed. Needless to say I didn't bath. "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and 6 my God."-psalm42 The service today was great. However the targeted audience wasn't present in my grp. why so downcast, o Alvin? The enemy lurks and attack my heart with emotions and distraction. Yet I choose to place my hope in God and praise Him. I had a vision of a shield a few days ago. Like those of ancient times, battered marks can be seen all ard. Old but reliable, i guess it also means to guard my heart as well. In a few hours I've to head back to camp. I'm glad that I raise up early to meet YOU and your word than facebook.

2009-05-29T01:21:00.002+08:00

Well it has been 11days since I last went to my airbase.(sense of freedom) Anw I passed my basic driving haha(still a long way to go though). Today's mcg with emily's group. Cg can be done better today but nevertheless lesson learned. "In the same way the spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the spirit himself intercedes or us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hears knows the mind of the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."-Rom8:26. Recently I'm vexed by this member who told me that he wanted to serve in another age group. That person ministry workload is already cut short still that person demands more. Rahh(My blood boils against hired hand shepherds) I jus can't understand why. That's why I need the spirit to teach me to wait and be still.

2009-05-25T09:03:00.002+08:00

at sengkang polyclinic now(the Q will be long but oh well.) After day one in Kuching, the lodge that I stayed was dusty. The next day, the flu bug got into me. By prayer the bug was gone. Anw on sunday, lead praise. First time haha a few hipcups here and there. Later taking my driving test later and fasting starts till end june! rahh

2009-05-24T20:01:00.002+08:00

Learned alot during LC

2009-05-13T00:14:00.004+08:00

What's up lately.. Was re intro into NECLM. It was quite funny as I was the oldest in terms of age among all of them.(includin the UL) Anw, my cg has only 5pp.(which isn't much of a cg in the first place). It sets me thinking about who am I really serving. A side of me says so 'cui' yet I'm glad that this situation can be a reflection to my motives. "God opposes the proud but exalts the humble". I'm encouraged by my sheep's lives and believe that God placed them as a reminder for me. To be a good shepherd and a strong support to my team. Despite some resistances from myself. I always felt that as a Christian,it is like holding on to a tug-of-war rope. Though the rope causes me to get rope burn and sores. I wanna win and cling onto it. My opponent is my carnal self consistantly reminding me of the sores. But I shall fix my eyes on a clown that will last. I'm proud..proud of being a shepherd of 3. And I know that God will faithfully add upon my numbers daily those who will be saved. "I'm holding on.." Anw I gave my mum e mother's day card and she wrote me a note. Saying quite a number of stuff. But on the last note, she wrote.."See One day I will be know your Jesus!" That alone brightens my day :D

2009-05-05T22:40:00.002+08:00

"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. But as for me. It is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds." -Psalm73:21~28 there are times when I just need to cool down. Only to realise that I stand in awe of the One who gave it all. It is good to be near God, my soul longs for u. I grow weary and tired but when I placed my hope in You, there I find peace. Peace that the world can nv take.

2009-05-05T18:44:00.002+08:00

hmm went ubin today with my shiftmates. Gosh! cycle like siao! Got my shoe covered in mud + seaweed.rahh. As I thought it was 'carpet green area' stupid of me.

2009-05-04T23:55:00.002+08:00

Went out at night for a Fish&co time with deng. It was a farewell for him, since he will be moving onto Ywam. hmm.grateful for all that he has done. "A friend in need is dengy indeed to help" But well. the friendship still stays, so it doesn't matter. Anw there is this concern that I'm having.. due to swine flu. Bec of the flu(and since I'm still in SAF) if the hazard level increases I may not have the chance to go for LC at malaysia(even though I bought the tix) rahh

2009-05-02T01:50:00.002+08:00

Well the day says it all. Labour Day. It wasn't exactly work, jus busy. Had NE sports day, played Captain ball. (my knee still giving me problems) Afterwards went to Marina Mandrain hotel for dinner. The setting there was great. As we had our buffet. The place was Ex, nevertheless the food was great!(thankfully i didn't need to pay) haha that is the best part! Celebrated my grandpa 80th birthday!(gotta visit him more often liao) as the days are evil.. haha. Today's dinner was kinda like reunion dinner as my grandpa gave out 'ang baos'. Regardless, the dinner was a great time to jus chat. I realise the impt of jus talking and catching up. rahh that's all for now

2009-04-19T00:02:00.002+08:00

Romans7:15"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Hmm(in a nutshell) due to my leg injury I can't stand for long hours in my army camp which meant that I had to do CCTV duties. Up till now I haven't slept since 1am btw.(since last book out from camp same situation). Well to be honest here, sleep is very impt to me.(e lack of it spells trouble) Jus last tue. I wanted to pick a fight w some punk in the bus who jus can't keep his legs to himself as he constantly push the back of the bus seat platform and his ever so loud music that he shares with the whole bus. Politics before war. It wasn't long before reasoning within my mind failed. I turned back and jus stared at him.(the look that wanna throw a few punches) thankfully he stopped his stun. I boarded another bus when it passes thru PHS that wrote "To God be the Glory!" only did I realise my wrongdoing. Then the next day, Hong teck sent me an sms"There are two types of people, we grow to be everyday in this world. Someone who never fail to get themselves pissed whatever happens in their day and those who always find praise, fun and thanksgiving in the same happenings.(God's little note into my life) I was pissed. Like Mr Jonah till God provided His covering to calm my silliness. Then there is today. Same 1am to now time slot. However the spirit was different.(for the better of course) There was Clm(which I didn't have to come) It felt weird but I used that time for movie! Taken.(nice nice) Afterwards had a chat with hua xiang and deng about what do we wanna do before we die? Anw regards to the weird feeling about the Clm, it doesn't bother me. As leadership is jus a title..what really matters is who u are to others. This is what I've learned. So next time if I piss u off. Too bad!(haha jus kiddin la)

2009-04-15T23:46:00.004+08:00

Went Ikea today with my mum. It has been such a long time since I stayed at home and spend time with my mum. Jus taking a afternoon nap. Life as it is..simple! Watching Susan Boyle - Singer - Britains Got Talent 2009. Nice! I dreamed a dream in time gone by When hope was high And life worth living I dreamed that love would never die I dreamed that God would be forgiving. Then I was young and unafraid And dreams were made and used And wasted There was no ransom to be paid No song unsung No wine untasted. But the tigers come at night With their voices soft as thunder As they tear your hope apart As they turn your dream to shame. And still I dream he'll come to me That we will live the years together But there are dreams that cannot be And there are storms We cannot weather... I had a dream my life would be So different form this hell I'm living so different now from what it seemed Now life has killed The dream I dreamed.

2009-04-07T01:17:00.003+08:00

Hmm. Last night I was so tired after sentosa that upon locking my front door, I jus drop dead on my bed till the next morning. Gosh! Met up with meng wee today for shepherding, I really enjoyed myself teaching. Come to think of it. Recently I have been packed by events that I have to postpone some of my shepherding. (I felt really bad and that I didn't priorities my time) Points taken. Jus got my knee X-ray. Can't see much difference since it is jus black and kinda white. Anw had a fun time with Soo feng and gang of Hopekids. I realised that I'm more crazy nowadays.(guess gotta tone down.before I get too high) Whatever it is, my head is in dippin mode. till next time..pillow for me

2009-04-01T00:22:00.002+08:00

Yeah! happy birthday to me :D Tue, was a funny day for me. Went to visit a chinese physician in the afternoon, with jus one touch..he ensured that my knee would recover soon. Acupuncture was then was given, I felt like a test subject(as there were 3 other students examining me) The first needle, I didn't feel much. Then after he moved his fingertip slightly I felt a shock like an electric current.(amazing) He tapped into my nerve(literally) I couldn't control my laughter. But I must say, after that treatment my leg felt so much better(that I was able to shop ard town haha)*results assured* While I was boarding the bus heading to Bugis. I noticed a old man whom cross-dressed from top to bottom.(he is old..like ard 55)that could be the most gross joke ever. He boarded the same bus, gosh! all eyes were on him.(Well, tips for first impression) dress to Kill!! Then at bugis, as I went to the washroom. A lady went in..(about the same time as I was goin to leave) "Stop and stare~ I look at the male drawing clearly shown at the entrance and look at the lady." She even asked me.." Is the gents?" I felt like responding with a demure voice(in other words gayish) "Oh hehehe yes! It is raining man!" gagaga. Had a simple day, packed with laughter as I've described.

2009-03-29T23:45:00.003+08:00

not the average sunday. With my knee injury, it makes me feel what it will be like 30plus years down the road. "Every step I make esp climbing the stairs haha. Oh well. Quite a number of pain! One of it is that in camp, I was supposed to be promoted to First class however due to some error as I miss out my first ippt(The chance slip by) I felt so robbed! cos "More rank, more money!!" haha every mth man! bleah~ there goes my pay raise. Btw forgotten about the not so average sunday. I had duty till 2am when I rested till 5am when I had to wake up to board the food delivery and rushed home changed before heading out to hopekids. After hopekids, met up with Shaun. He gave me a very nice polo tee, we had lunch at Mad jacks then watched Shopholic. Well, we still shop afterwards for books haha at Trumpet praise. Afterwards had a retreat meeting with Marcus and co. We walked quite a distance to The Wine Company. I was amazed at the place, I simply love it. I think it would be cool to have a good time out with my close friends. pondering on this comin wed haha :) At the back of my mind. I need to be like Mary who simply listened at Jesus feet instead of being the constant Martha. hmm.

2009-03-27T02:25:00.002+08:00

Gosh~ Did trust fall today during cg. And when Chai did it, he jus fell straight into my knee.(the injured one) double ouch! After Cg played catching. I tried to run(the action itself was funny) Afterwards watched 12rounds with my friend, Calvin. Good movie! My friend told me about his marriage plan in 3years time.(gosh~ am I getting old) Anyway there is jus so many things I wanna do before I settle down like him. For now I jus pray that this injury isn't long-term or my life is gotta be turned upside down!

2009-03-25T13:11:00.002+08:00

Hmm. Took quite a long break from camp. And on monday had to go back. Who would have known that there was operation that day(bleah~!) I was half-asleep and wasn't feeling too good(given all the BBQ and fast-food intake I had taken that week) As I went nearer..Gosh! stood my Goliath holding on to a wooden sword. As for me, I was the 21th century David, with rifle and bullet-proof equipped. I was fearless(unless my rounds are empty haha) After minutes of negotiation, he threw his sword and ran off towards the woods. We gave chase. Soon he was confronted, my partner sneak from behind. As I placed my left leg forward to tip him.. That's the downfall. As I pull him down and my partner push.. mr. Goliath body fell and knocked my knee. The impact was instant as I felt the pain comin from my ligament. I still have to pin him down and handcuff him. Later did i found out that mr. Goliath whose height was 1.85~1.9m was formerly an American football player. What a painful lesson.. a few of my shiftmates told me to kick *somewhere in between his legs* when he has pinned down. (The body is more than willing to inflict damage but the heart cares more about my knee) haha oh well~

2009-03-23T00:07:00.003+08:00

Busy busy week. Sat itself more events. Nic ambush birthday celebration, where we head down to nic hse after svc, since he can't make it for svc(due to ncc). We made a mobile cg.

Afterwards went to my army friend hse for a BBQ, I guess my shiftmates are so well trained in BBQ, that to set up a fire would be chicken feet.

The next morning, had hopekids. Lead key 3 for the first time.. became a cookie monster for these kids as I taught them to share God's love jus like a big cookie!

Then at night there is Rayson belated birthday celebration. Hasn't been sleepin for more than 7hrs per day since last week >_< *need some sleep!*

2009-03-20T19:41:00.002+08:00

After Shepherd's retreat. Didn't really had a good sleep as there isn't much place to sleep in the first place. I rested at the sofa where the song of Dota, cards games are heard. Thankfully with the power of ipod..Alvin rested. The night games earlier was so tiring, and most of all.. I didn't felt good at all acting as persecutor, persecuting Christians and asking them to deny their faith. It was more like a boot camp than games(one that would be a lasting impression). My face was camouflage with black stripes and greens. The night was indeed long as stage after stage new challenges force the christians to deny their faith or reveal their pastor. There was a funny note however.. Aaron who was the pastor in the game, jus told Sunny who is a persecutor that he is the pastor(with the most sincere expression) not knowing the game rules. (7am) Bugged by the grp that was trying to wake chee hwee up for sch, they played loud noises etc. I went out and looked at the skies and bright sunlight. *beautiful* Before I wore my running shoe and decided to head out for a run. Where to, I dun really care. I jus ran. Pass thru cyclist, stopped by a corner where old fisherman peacefully wait.

2009-03-16T09:35:00.002+08:00

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted..." -matt5. For the first time, I'm using facebook without stayin over or at my friend's place..my thanks to Donavan.

2009-03-01T16:11:00.003+08:00

hmm.at nic hse currently playin mousehunt. After helpin out at hopekids today. Well there is a hopekids conference, hope to learn more then. Watching slumdog millionaire with my mum later

2009-02-25T20:10:00.005+08:00

Hmm. Everytime i update my blog is when i'm at someones house. I feel kinda helpless. I gotta save up for a laptop soon. Anw here is my weekends. When fishing on sunday at Pasir Ris, farmway. My pri sch friend brought me there. The place was great, the view(it was like a out of singapore experience) And there I was fishing(something that is totally not me) given my character, fishing would be out of my mind. As fishing is such a waste of time! But I did made the best out of waiting, by reading my bible and journal. My first hook wasn't the fish that I caught above..but here goes. I fought with the fish for a whole 15mins(my arms was getting tired..I was determined to at least see my opponent which is underwater) Everytime I try to pull it towards my direction and when I thought the outcome was determined I was wrong, it swam e other direction. Then finally.. as the line was drawing nearer.. the line suddenly snapped and the rod bounced back and hit my head.(ouch!the fish strikes back) Well. the fish would had been bigger but oh well. Thank god that at least I caught 2 others before I call it a day. That sunday, I couldn't help but gaze upon the beauty God's creation. It was beautiful as I start to reflect on my life. oh yes, my friend broke his rod while trying to tackle the fish.(it must be big) The next day, it was back at camp. I fell sick, with high fever. It was miserable, Thankfully my army friends supported me by caring for me and giving me pills etc. to this i'm grateful. Life is jus so colourful. not when u are the brightest but when so many other colour comes together in ur life to form a rainbow. God i'm indeed grateful for the rain in my life tat taught me to treasure my simple life in jars of clay.

2009-02-22T01:10:00.002+08:00

Was suffering from flu and cough since thurs. And on Fri I took leave from army to sent Freedy off to Melbourne. That day, I had night duty from 12midnight till 6am.(didn have my sleep) Afterwards had to get Freedy's gift at town, then went to amk, to follow up on a new-b, Meng wee who finished reading the book of John within one day.(I had to test him jus to be sure). Afterwards Pm. My head was in zone out mode(esp during worship) my headache jus got more heavy. Rushed to Changi airport, I must say tat I'm pretty bad at expressing my emotions when I saw freedy.(I guess it was more heart felt) There was like a class size senting him off. With friends and family. Wei lun was among them along with donvann. Today had service, I'm amazed at how our church senior pastor, pastor Ben is so willing to obey and give up that position and head back to the fundamental of being a christian. And today's teaching did gave me quite a few things to think about. Nevertheless I'm impressed and amazed at how God works. After svc, went out for a movie with sunny. We watched Outlander. It suxs!! At first I thought the movie gotta be something since LOTR producer somehow was involve but bleah~! Staying over at his place now. Tmr goin fishing in e morning w my pri sch friend.

2009-02-18T21:21:00.002+08:00

hmm. It has been such a while since my last entry. My shepherd freedy will be leaving this fri. It does affect me(not that I'm emo or anything) but somehow the thought are slowly kickin in. Perhaps it was due to the busy training I'm having recently in camp. Anw Anderson saw it's first growth after nic brought his friend meng wee. Well. will update more when fri comes. Freedy will be missed~

2009-01-29T09:46:00.004+08:00

CNY, I constantly perceive it as a time where not jus loads of food is present, but also parents bragging about their children as though they are trophies(reflectin their good parentin). This year that point of view changed however. This year, one of my aunt(who is workin under the Air force over at Perth) And two other aunts went over to visit her along with their children. And we chat over e webcam(when my grandparents looked lost) at where to look. The sight of it is heartwarming. Then chat with one of my cousin who is currently at UK, studyin law thru webcam as well. Somehow understood the word family ties, I learned that I was kinda judgemental at how boring these events were. thinkin tat it is jus a routine. This year, one of my new year was deprived in camp(rahh!!) nevertheless made the most out of every moment. Watched Love matters with my mum. The movie was NC-16 and the funny thing was I was checked about my age.(wow!) The movie was packed with sexual jokes, it was kinda strange, since my mum is jus beside me. Well. my dad invited me to go thailand, I had to turn down.(I intended to go Hope bangkok whereas my dad intention is temples) haha nevertheless I must say that thanks to hopekids tat i was able to handle my younger brother and cousins.

2009-01-25T13:12:00.002+08:00

hmm.watched Juno and my 10 promises to my dog in camp recently. What impressed in my heart was the 10 promises. It somehow reminds me of God's loyalty and faithfulness which far exceeds man's best friend. Recently, I must say that when I notice a fat person and my first impression is a boomer and when I crowd gathered to board a bus..I think it is hordes. Clearly the side effects of too many hours on left 4 dead. Anw after svc, had quite a busy time working my mouth on chewing on steamboat stuff.

2009-01-21T17:29:00.002+08:00

hmm watched a free movie, Changeling. It was our safety day that we went to Cathay, and had our lunch there. Kinda cool since it was free. The movie though 2hr40mins long really reflected one thing, one person can change the world(well for the movie it was mummy's endless love for her lost son) But the same goes for all christians. If we fight til the end. haha

2009-01-20T20:18:00.003+08:00

haha though I jus booked out of camp. I was really prayin for spiritual strength, CG was fun today. We had a visitor, shi you(anderson sec) Recorded a video of our cg musical chair(jus waiting to be uploaded). Anw during camp, I must proclaim that my hot chocolate time w Jesus was great!(perhaps the best time to feel God's presence is jus during times when u never thought possible). A question was asked "What is one thing that I can't stand as a christian" In an instant, I replied stagnant christian life. However deep down I question my own fruitfulness. In pastoral and spiritual life. I came to a conclusion, as long as I'm walking.. it is okay to stumble esp when I'm walking with jesus. I want to see His flag of victory lifted high with His team of underdogs :D *running like a loyal dog for the One who gave it all* woof woof~ haha

2009-01-17T21:37:00.004+08:00

After svc went to nic's hse,but in the mean time met him for dinner at Yishun. The 3rd floor is a jap food court(cool) And yup he is in No.4 ahh(reminds me of my ncc days) Nvm can pass him my old ranks etc :p haha. Anw I'm at his hse now haha

2009-01-13T13:26:00.002+08:00

Rejoice in the Lord always-phil4:4. Kinda hard given the army slot that pokes me at times when I really wanna rest. It was a challenge nevertheless, did it with a smile(or a small one). Btw yester, went to rix hse to call up contacts. Nic rushed down after his cca(thought he would be in no.4 but ahh he changed) Then later to Hopekids vision night where learned abit about how to manage kids(sheeps included too) And most of all.. Goals! Though hopekids may be small but really.. I can see them as future leaders of tomorrow. Kinda sad that I can only help out like 2 times a month.

2009-01-05T03:08:00.002+08:00

Went serangoon 3 times today. Early morning went there to play basketball with kaiwen,wal,sun,freedy etc. Later on met nicholas, he wanted to visit my hse(and my pet tiger as well) Sadly nic had to leave early for dinner w his mum or he would have joined me and sunny they all to play left 4 dead.

I guess i played too long liao, kinda bored of that game. Now i'm at sunny's place. Tue he will be goin to camp will miss him then.

2008-12-31T23:37:00.005+08:00

hmm..well, Christmas till new year. too tired to blog. Christmas carolin w rachel's grp at serangoon till walk all the way till Braddel road. gosh. Had a party at heidi's hse earlier.

Sunday helped out at hopekids, then came tue(30dec). Had a day off from camp to go kallang, to collect a letter. Anw what's cool is that my base booked the entire bowling alley and ice skating floor.

There was also catering. wah! enjoy. I'm grateful of tat opportunity to receive tat letter out of my shiftmates. Well. for the year 08. tons of thanksgiving from church pp to army dudes that spice up last year. Well.. the best is yet to come.. ORD LOL!!

2008-12-16T22:10:00.003+08:00

hmm. Camp pics. From day1 games.

It was raining 1 hour before games started, I gathered some game masters to pray and the raindrops went heavier. Nevertheless that isn't gonna affect the spirit and I believe that the rain will stop despite the thickness of the dark clouds. Sure enough, it did..and "Let the games begin". From stocking games to flour, jacob's ladder where players stepped on each other calf muscle and face the flour to games like mission impossible, where I hitted my head while trying out the game and knees were sore and buised. Yea it was fun.

Well.. then came minilution, where high school reunion plus nerds outlook are the norm. Afterwards there was Shepherd's appreciation. Well.. I'm really grateful for my sheeps joshua, he bought me a topman shirt..the design however had a Cat.(he is teachin me how to love my enemy) Then I got a gift from mervin, POST breakfast..(it is my fav) to boon how& eugene. Tears started to gather as they showed a clip on Pastor shirley pioneerin years. Being a pioneer, can kinda relate to the rejection we receive at times. But yea! after the labor, lives were changed.*priceless*. I enjoyed the Ben's and Jerry ice cream given by the church for the shepherds.(I was intendin to buy that for freedy la).

When torchie(dun know if i got it right) step down from stage after prayin. And when he was heading towards North-east area, I was like.. hmm. I wonder who will be he prophesyin next then he tap me and asked for my name.. with the mike near my mouth. I was stunned. Torch, accurately pin my strength, loyalty. Which reminds me of what pastor shirley said during NE camp, about faithfulness. God had me at "hello!" I was shocked, somehow it was an encouragement as well, as I tend to have doubts. Well. Last day and sure enough played and didn't sleep the whole night, playin captain ball and badminton. Nicholas was jus learning, he was really sweet when he wrote an encouragement card and hid it in my bag. The captain ball match with SJI dudes was like me,walmond,sunny,freedy,joseph,xueyong. Sunny and Wal, made quite a team.. it was quite a competitive game. Then came 530am when I had to rush to pack and leave for another camp.. over at Changi. By God's grace, I manage to catch the first bus back to sengkang then changi. At the base, while the commanders was giving speech, my head was noddin and mastering the art of sleepin with eyes opened. Anw I'm at chi keong hse now, one of my close buddy who offered his leave for me that i could make it for this camp :D God is great!

2008-12-08T20:34:00.003+08:00

"So blessed, I can't contain it..so blessed I gonna give it away" Christmas came home early for me as events in these recent months warm my heart and soul. Recently, met up with my pri sch friends to play basketball@serangoon where NEC dudes were there too. Ruiyong as well. I kept disturbing ruiyong haha, he is like cats in my eyes. Anw one of my friend keong, who works at Crocs and is doin well there has blessed me with his slippers and asked me to go to his gf shop to get puma stuff. *Blessed* Back at army, I was entitled to have 2 days leave however due to some mishap, my leave only left with 1.5. The leave was meant for Dec camp.. in lame terms.. I have to go back from woodlands to changi during one of the camp days it is like jus stupid. Anw to my amusement I wasn't furious when I first heard it, but rather assured that God will make a way. As I shared this problem to my spec, one of my buddy heard it and offered his leave for my sake.. I was really touched.*blessed*. (7dec) Went ice-skating as a Info Com retreat.. haven't skate since my high sch years. And nope I didn't fall haha, but my wallet was burned for 2 hours it cost 17 bucks. really ex. Afterwards went to meet freedy at Jovan funeral service, it was my first time attending a Christian funeral service. I was glad I did. The service had a bittersweet moment when the children at hopekids sang "All good things come from above". Though I was a complete stranger, I was touched by this 7year old kiddo life. The service shared about his strength and courage as he fought to live.. the recordings of his final moments made me teared. The recording was jovan singing "Jesus loves me this I know for the bible tells me so.." such joy and courage in times as dark as these. What a life of impact. (Today) was suppose to run today with Gideon. As I was struggling to keep my eyes open and look out of the window.. dark clouds. And not long after Gideon sms to postpone the run. In the afternoon follow-up on Nicholas. I called him Sharon haha la when I prayed for him.. joke. Had a great time with him. Afterwards had dinner with my mum at Julan kayu Mad jack cafe. I ordered the Blue mountain burger.. It was big man! 3 beef patty hehe

2008-11-21T19:39:00.003+08:00

2008-11-15T02:13:00.000+08:00

super funny

2008-11-14T22:01:00.005+08:00

nutty shell. Games comm and black and white cg. Yes there are only 4 pp for this upcoming games com for dec camp.. but the games will be good. The management of the games com have a firm believe that to Sabo is love and that principle can never be compromised! But i was really shocked that there isn't central of JC game masters. hmm. Any case enjoyed working with this team, but really need more pp in games com to have more ideas. This week cg, lie hao and daniel led a very creative game really enjoyed myself though I had to rush down from camp it was worth it. Just had a 5km run with sunny jus now after pm. It was jus great running and talkin about ministry where he gave me advice. Anw something really bad happened today.. I stepped on Cat's shit. Yes! cat! the smell was so strong that my long pants and socks got the smell. rotten fish and anything rotten is tat kinda smell. So powerful that even though I washed my hands with soap 5times the smell still stays. Cats.. need to watch Saw movie to get creative in "Playin a game of life" with it. win, lose..kick or slice a cat's tail

2008-11-10T20:50:00.002+08:00

hmm. back in camp. I was awarded Outstanding soldier of the month for Sept. And last wed they had a parade where I received my prize. I dun deserve it..(my speech is not taken from some emmy award) but really God blessed. I recently bought a Ipod 4GB too, haha for 110bucks and when I met with my dad. He gave me $100 bucks and an expensive watch.. blessed yet again. My last blessing was when I met freedy, he help me upload latest songs from hillsong to Lincoln brewster muhaha. Well.. there is still thorn in my flesh but I realised that God's grace is sufficient for me. As His power is made perfect in weakness.

2008-10-13T19:42:00.003+08:00

2008-10-12T17:49:00.000+08:00

hmm. intended to upload some of my pictures. It has been almost a month since my last post. There had been so many highlights like sunny's birthday etc. When I can upload you will see it then. Anw went help out at hopekids and there was this boy by the name of Jared. Super-duper cute he is only 7 years old and his front two baby tooth was gone when I wanted to take a photo with him, he told me "Can i dun smile? my tooth.. later not nice" wahh.

2008-09-15T22:18:00.002+08:00

jus picture my face and the victim a lifeless whiteboard(kung fu trainin k)

2008-09-15T22:01:00.004+08:00

Today I went back to camp for some training when they had games. The game was to pick a paper that has something written on it..let's say Mas Salamat so there was a whiteboard and one representative has to draw on the board. Everything when fine till.. the word playboy. I draw something like this.. My team couldn't guess it. And out of stress or whatever that caused me to snap.. i did the unthinkable.

<-This.. Called it using my head for the wrong reason. Stupid day and a stupid action.. I'm starting to think like Zidane.gosh. But yea learned from my mistakes and shall not repeat it again.

I was too focus on winning at all cost, lesson learned at a hard price. credits to kenneth for drawing these -_-....lol

2008-09-11T21:01:00.003+08:00

hmm had a former grads reunion yester at Glass house, Fish and co. It was also a farewell for Jiancong who is goin to Tekong this coming sat. (gotta miss his hair) Anw went out with him in the morning to shop for army stuff and it was ex la..50 bucks for some stuff.

After cg, this is Gary. The blue's dude. Anw, jus played basketball..look forward to next cg hehe.

2008-09-07T13:36:00.002+08:00

haha hearing my own voice sounded funny in the North-east camp clip.

2008-09-06T23:49:00.003+08:00

Gosh! lost 2kg while I was sick for the past 2 days. Btw bought green mugs for the Olvl pp in info counter and grad's group. Mug for Mugger's day haha. Anw, info counter new system is really quite a challenge. I'm like some old man trying to learn IT.

Today I lead worship for pioneer's meet with Donovan, there was this uneasy feeling. Sunny comment that I've improved,all thanks to don advice. I didn't really expressed my concerns over my pastoral group whose attendance hasn't been good for the past 2 weeks.

On sun, I will be heading down to Bowen, for a prayer walk. There is jus this holy discontentment, that Bowen spiritual jerico walls must come down.

2008-09-03T20:21:00.002+08:00

Hmm. sick right now, headache.. recent updates. I was chosen to be Outstanding soldier of the month of Sept. What is cool is that I dun have to come back to camp for training(leaving me with more free time) However my first free time was spend rolling in bed in coldness even though i did not turn on the fan. :)

2008-08-18T23:01:00.002+08:00

Yea. My dad is discharge from hospital. Btw, recently I've been volunteering for Hopekids every Sunday that I'm free. The Worship experience was really good, though the crowd was jus children but the spirit was jus so overwhelming, I was moved to tears actually. Then there is hope centre carnival at Yck where there is a playoff between youth leaders vs adults leaders. I was suppose to play lol but nvm. We won 3-0 yeah! Of course there were a few highlights, Gideon's penalty shootout hmm. It took quite a courage to kick a penalty though he didn't have a choice as he was the *HOT* fav. Well.. the outcome doesn't matter, it was the teamwork. Btw afterwards I watched Money not enough 2. It was jus s'pore humor jokes.nice.

2008-08-04T14:46:00.002+08:00

Galatians 6:9 "Let's us not become weary in doing good, for ar the proper time we wiull reap a harvest if we do not give up." This verse was spoken to me by Gideon on sat clm. Hmm.this week in fact a lot of pop-ups have been happening..not really the good stuff. Today, after doing duty from 3am to 8am like that, I received an sms from my cousin saying that my dad is in TTSH after suffering from a heart attack. I immediately informed to take a leave off to visit him. On my way there, a lot was running thru my mind. I finally arrived there. As I was looking for my dad among those old and sick faces, there was a glass door that enable me to look thru, my heart was worried. He was in the observation at the coronary care unit, it looks serious. As just outside his bed was a nurse monitoring his condition outside those glass door. When I entered I could see the smile in his face, he was jus having his lunch. We chat. Whenever he mention my mum, it was as though this grudge had been dug so deep in his heart that it is impossible to remove. I tried to do the usual stuff by jus listening then.. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to defend my mother.(it wasn't the most wise thing to do.as the situation applies anw) A heated argument was on, it didn last long thankfully. The conversation ended up to my joining his company as a sale marketer, he said he would buy me a car. This wasn't what I wanted. So many men dunno how to truly love(that includes myself) Afterwards I assisted my dad to pee. It was the least I could do as a son. It felt like the scenes from e book Tuesday with Morrie. jus that it was real this time. After the curtains were drew back, I saw my aunt face, waiting outside those glass door. She jus cried. I felt helpless.. she did the crying for me, I didn know how to express myself. I was afraid to show any weakness to my father whom simply isn't any average Joe. Soon I was confused. My aunt, took out a bottle of herbal drink and I served my dad. His business friend appeared at the door step as well. My aunt took me out and had a chat with me. "Look around, those faces before ur father bed. They all look so old but ur father.. he is jus too young. What about the other kids." which was referring to my stepbrothers. And her eyes were red and tears that rolled down her cheeks. He is jus so strong. My dad drove himself to the hospital despite the fact that his whole left arm was so numb that it couldn't move. As I left the hospital, I saw a venting machine that offered hot milo(something which I love and I know would somehow cheer me up). I took the cup and jus went outside, my mind was blank. I decide to listen to The Stand by hillsong. "Forgiveness is the greatest form of love that one can offer" it takes a bigger man to do that, call me soft hearted but I did. like how my mum showed the example. anw, I'm really thankful for kenneth, thian soon and the others in my shift for offering help and encouragement when they heard news about it

2008-08-03T00:24:00.004+08:00

Hmm. Nutshell for this week. Sent sunny off to commando camp for an interview, afterwards went to Changi village and the view was just how great God is. Then had CG, decided to make changes after Gideon meet-up the day before. CG was a success though there was a big mistake.. Rix hse was locked as I forgotten about the key :P

"The true test of a man, the beginning of his redemption, actually starts when he can no longer rely on what he's used all his life. The real journey begins when the false self fails. On fri after prayer meet we had basketball and some ah beng picked a fight with me. As I defended the NE pp as they wanted to play and disrupt the whole game. Fist was closed and eye contact was made. My intention was of course to avoid the fight from even happening however that wasn't the case for the Beng. He even wanted to challenge 20 of us to fight haha joke. My mind was thinking, If he strike me, I will fight back. My stand was that as Christian man. We have to fight, we are not push-over.. that should be bullied by thuds. (Yo! christian soldiers not jus mr nice)By God's grace, no fist were being thrown at each other. The police came however to check out I.Ds. After the match, went to Amk Botak jones with Joshua. I so badly wanted to eat however my throat still hurts, it felt like something sharp was jammin my adam's apple bleah~

Anw, at night I was so tired. Then my mum came into my room and when she started to pour her concerns. I was like.."Need some sleep" haha Btw, i listen on and God really open the door as my mum started to flood me with all her problems and hidden thorns from her past. It was about my Dad. This new insight gave me a whole lot of how the big picture is. My respect for him as a father was like negative minus. Disappointment and a lost in true masculine heart that is why so many man in this world lack a true father figure.. until they know Jesus who gave all the credit to His Father.

2008-07-26T01:25:00.003+08:00

hmm. stay over at sunny's place. Busy busy in camp and out of it :D Having loads of laughter watching happy tree friends. guess I miss out alot in my childhood

2008-07-22T01:50:00.003+08:00

"Every man dies, but how many really lives?" Pretty much stuff occuring around my small world. ESS, I took off from my camp however didn't see anderson and bowen visitors.disappointed and discontented. There were brightsides like the new-believer Jun hao that was responsive and so many converts from NE. As Gideon said. All glory and praise belongs to God.

Btw these few week, had been fasting as a group not really as an individual that thirst for Him in a dry and weary land. That was till I met my shepherd and pour out all the Bleah~ came out with plans of improvement(that will not be jus a thought then *Poof*) Applied the theory, reflect and proactive. How true is it that man fear that most is being exposed. I'm learning to be more exposed from this deceitful heart(jeremiah17:9-10) v10 "I the LOrd search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve." [side-track] came across a cat book when freedy was looking for the cure against poverty book. I too was inspired, a sudden rush of energy that makes even the most restless day a fresh one. So have the same passion as me, I jus need to cut off the cat heads and replace it with non-believers face muhaha Love can really do insensible things.(p.s I hate cats by the way,they have no loyality,no character..bleah~ *kick it*

2008-07-13T03:26:00.006+08:00

Photo deleted due to epic circumstances sorry T.T LOL~ this photo was dated last monday 7july. haha it was my first time goin to wildwildwet. That day, the clouds were black that we had our outing, somehow at the back of my mind..my mind was saying "it is goin to rain, where is the back-up plan" however I held on to my guts and jus prayed that God will hold off the rain. Btw I almost drown at the wave there thanks to Joshua. I and yixiong managed to squeeze into a float then he(mr.J) came along and overturn it. ahhh not once but a few times. Then there was the combo.. yixiong wanted to hit an incoming beach ball he did alrite along with his finger mark in my face. It hurts and I covered my hands over my face then came mr.Joshua who do the thing he do(despite many many warning!!) after I went into the water.. there came the wave.Here is the story of Alvin drowns on water. Anw I can't stop noticing deng's body haha(oh well.God's temple is big for him :P) jus kiddin dengy! Watched hellboy today with sunny(Red cliff next) tmr meeting kenneth and my other army friends to east coast. bleah~ today was a tiring day, rushed to service(I meant ran) haha I was really desperate to see junhao, then after first svc ended met kenneth(aka NEBO!! buddy haha) I received a sms later than night by jun hao saying 'thanks for bring me' I was like it is so the other way. But it is sms like this that makes all the hardwork worth while :D

2008-06-30T22:45:00.002+08:00

Went to my pri/sec friends birthday bash at downtown east yester. It wasn't really a bash haha it was more of ah lians meet.

Anw at 1:45am, lead games.. as u can see..I was caught red-handed haha played "ABCD" then watched Euro-finals. Kinda sad that Germany lost lol!

2008-06-27T15:23:00.002+08:00

Hmm.kinda sad that Russia lost nah~ Was intending to support the underdogs. Oh well I guess Germany will win lol! Anw went to Church office today morning to talk to Gideon afterwards watched sermon cd. I really need to learn more stuff.

2008-06-23T20:33:00.002+08:00

Hmm lots of update. but here are some highlights. Had a steamboat at my army base, I had to plan it lol. Anw.. am reading numbers and 1 Samuel. Loads to apply and NEA leaders is gonna have a quiet time blog yeah! Had been thinking quite a bit on my future. And there were thoughts if I'm cut out in youth. However reading about the life of David. I gonna admit that insecurity somehow robs my faith as it did to David when he was fleeing from king Saul. After the rain, there is always sunshine :) I'm gonna keep fighting and enduring.

2008-06-15T02:10:00.004+08:00

My camp objective was to have a good retreat with God. God defined retreat. This camp was a physical challenge unlike what I had been thru before.. First day before camp I had security duty since 3am till camp time..games..night had no place to sleep but on the floor with freedy. I felt guilty taking the blanket rather than gave it to freedy. 2nd night was impactful however the next morning I had to head back to base, so i left at 6:30am.. went there had teaching(which will not impact and influence lives) afterwards running and soccer. My shoe was soaked due to the sudden downpour on the 2nd night of camp..I left my shoe outside the chalet. thus i had to borrow from kenneth(army buddy) his size however was 8half mine was 9half. Gosh! It only hurt when I played soccer(see "Play play play") my right toe nail is like blue-black now. Anw after army rushed back to downtown. It was dinner time then, jus received news that during the games we were tied with north.(the winner is quite obvious by now) Next was worship. I was so dead tired that I almost fell asleep. I meant it! my legs gave way. Then I jus prayed for God's strength and He did. Last day of camp, it was like 2hours of photo-taking haha after everything rushed back home at 3pm..dumped my dirty clothes etc and packed my base stuff for 2days of in-camp and church clothes rushed to base had to reach there by 5pm and buy back 9packet of chicken rice for my shiftmates(heavy). And what was worse was that I had security duty from 6pm till 12midnight. wahh~ but somehow I managed to share about my camp that impacted my life and my army buddy doin duty with me. (fastforward --> Sat) After uctm by freedy, met my mum out for movie. She wanted to watch sex in the city lol haha it turns out that GV only had the 2nd front rows left(it was a big No! then later my mum stiff neck) That is when I met sunny,marcus and donavan at Jus asia. After I sent my mum off, I went back to find sunny as I was staying over at his place. It was then that suddenly the spirit came upon them as they were sharing about CG08 and as they shared my heart was stirred within me. At the table they decided to call their core-team to meet at potong pasir at 1030pm..jus 20mins later after they were convicted. On their way there, chee wee,marcus and donavan shared christ to strangers at the train. In my mind was like they are crazy..Crazy for God man! It only fuel my passion even greater. Hebrews 11 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" It is time to step out of the water. The comfort zone/safe level into God's level. I have underestimated God's hand. Numbers 11:23 "The Lord answered Moses, "Is the Lord's arm too short?.." I know mine is. I will end off with Acts 5:38bFor if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. 39But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God." I'm gonna push myself harder. Fast for lunch 10am to 5pm till I see a cg size in my pioneer grp. Today I declare that I had my last lunch. It is time to do crazy godly things NEA! cos NEB has already started tonight.

2008-06-07T01:53:00.002+08:00

Had a MCG last wed, played badminton and basketball. God was faithful in giving us such a good weather despite the early showers in the morning. My sense of wonder was that there was so many visitors, that we(believers) can't even be inward. It was an amazing sight.. I must say age somehow is getting the better out of me haha. Today had Fish&Co with my shift mates and sgt, the New York fish fillet was really awesome.. the cheese!! Anw my bank acc now only has $10bucks yeah! What is worse is that I didn't buy anything other than food.nooo~ Later that day met up with sunny to watch Narnia. Camp is coming~ time past us by so fast :)

2008-05-31T02:15:00.001+08:00

ah..my leg is like a piggy leg after bitten by some unknown creature :( anw really glad that the Ne camp was a success, not to mention over. Watched my first R21 movie haha with my shepherd. Wilde, homo stuff that is all.. reminds me of the recent Gatsby ads that shows a guy acting so homo haha. Hmm.Anw during NE camp, I was shocked when pastor shirley mentioned my name. However I'm more aware of my growth areas after what she said. "So blessed.. I can't contain it to be a blessing to others"is what i would say to myself. Loads of task uphead.. my hands will be held higher and let Jesus take the wheels. Today went for Word for life,learn about the history of christianity even deeper. Gideon asked me to lead worship to the whole NE i was like(gurb~ i haven't led for quite a while) haha but yea! poking my growth areas, so I can stay healthy in this race. Staying over at sunny's place now, had been so long since i did. Later need to report back to camp at 730am haha. Shall have my last lunch before the start of june(sadly it is army food haha)

2008-05-26T22:26:00.002+08:00

Yes a snapshot of mr. gideon hehe. Anw, had a meeting with freedy along with the rest of NEA. I had been too caught up with jus work. "Unless the spirit is upon us..we will jus be workers working on a field without purpose". What is my conviction and belief. I'm very forgetful indeed. I wanna fast for this coming whole month of june. Why so downcast O my soul, when u are the one who fills me up till I'm overflowing.

2008-05-25T10:58:00.002+08:00

Serious.. spend like loads on taxi. like 30bucks >_< pain.

2008-05-21T21:05:00.002+08:00

On monday, my camp had BBQ, that means that I have loads of leftover stuff for the NE camp wahoo~! That night was a fun night, where there was a challenge to dip your feet in freezing cold water for 1min. I beat it to 3mins.(pride comes before pain) I've learned my lesson..humble now. Anw NE is starting to read the Book of Acts. I've done my additional reading k at 4am. To me, waking up at these grave timing is productive(strange but hey..Jesus woke up early too :P) Anw..Apart from reading Acts, I'm reading Leviticus(have to infer alot from study bible). Anw in Acts2:4 "All of them were filled with the Holy spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the spirit enabled them. Reminds me of The Tower of Babel,"Now the whole world had one language and a common speech."-Genesis11:1. And in Acts 3 Where peter heals the crippled beggar.. I'm even more convicted that only the authority and Word of God can change life and even canal nature of mankind. I'm loving the word man. Today went to nexus after my book out to watch Facing the giant, though I've watched it like 5times. Nothing is impossible indeed, so tmr outreach will be too. Sent your rain, as your servants prepare the field for the harvest.

2008-05-14T17:22:00.003+08:00

Hmm. Went out with mummy for lunch hehe. Love her to bits. Mother's day, sadly I had to go back to base. I was so tired that I jus drop at my bed. My mum woke me up at 4am to set the alarm. I was deeply touched. What will the world be without mothers.. Anw back at camp, I really wanna equip myself with more facts and knowledge to my non-believer friends back at camp. I was watching I Am Legend. "Let light shine among darkness" Christian. I believe we are the instrument for the 'cure'. SO..this instrument called mr. Alvin gonna equip with more goodie stuff. ohh after I booked out, when out to scout with my army friend, Kenneth to Ikea. The tampines one was really big.. NE camp is coming, braincells dieing for a good cause :D I and chee wee was like planning for the night games for like more than 2 hours..that alone wasn't enough lol.. hehe. Oh anw went to Kinokuniya at bugis and found this interesting book called God is not great by some christopher dude..stupid! It is in the best selling section along with Mitch albom 'For one more day' hmm. "HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD" yeah!!

2008-05-02T17:44:00.002+08:00

hmm. back at camp there is this sergent that has the same surname and birthday as me..not to mention he looks like me(he is taller though) Anw.. Watch Iron man with deng&joshua not bad not bad lol. Anw, it is pretty hard to share christ to my fellow army dudes. Nevertheless I'm goin to learn and equip myself with questions that they would ask.. bleah. Jus celebrated des birthday..